


you don't have to be alone

by HeartonFire



Category: Daredevil (TV), The Punisher (TV 2017)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Dogs, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kastle Christmas Secret Santa Gift Exchange, Kastle network, Smut, Winter, heresittinginmybed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-26 11:57:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17141309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartonFire/pseuds/HeartonFire
Summary: It's almost Christmas, and Karen decides to get herself a dog. When she goes to the animal shelter to pick one out, she finds another surprise.





	you don't have to be alone

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Kastle Christmas! This fic is for [heresittinginmybed](http://heresittinginmybed.tumblr.com/), and the prompt was Kastle and dogs. How could I resist?

“You’re going to do _what_?” Foggy said, staring at Karen like she had three heads.

“I’m going to get a dog.” Karen didn’t see what was so crazy about that. “I like dogs.”

“So do I, but with the hours we’ve been working, you really think that’s a good idea?”

She shrugged. She didn’t want to tell him the real reasons she wanted a dog. The nightmares. The paralyzing fear. The suffocating loneliness. He had enough on his plate. Everyone did.

“I think it’s a great idea,” Matt chimed in, from his place in the doorway.

“Of course, you do,” Foggy said, muttering something under his breath that Karen didn’t really work too hard to hear. She was sure it wouldn’t be flattering. It didn’t matter, either way. Her mind was made up.

“When are you going?”

“Today, if it’s okay with you guys.” She picked up her purse and took a step towards the door.

“I don’t suppose I can convince you to think about this?” Foggy said, already looking defeated.

Karen smiled. “What makes you think I haven’t thought about it?”

Matt chuckled. “You’re not going to win this one, Fog. Go, Karen. You’ve more than earned a night off.”

“Thanks.” She pulled on her coat and left, before either of them could change their minds. She didn’t think they would. Not really. Things had been okay with her and Matt since they restarted Nelson, Murdock, and Page. He had mostly stopped trying to control what she did, and he had definitely stopped treating her like she was a pure, innocent angel. Her confession had wrenched its way out of her, had nearly broken her, but he could see her clearly now. They could see each other honestly, for the first time. It had hurt at first, but they were almost back to being friends. Whatever had happened with them before, that spark was gone. Too much had happened since then. It was too late to go back.

That was part of why she wanted to get a dog. She loved having Foggy and Matt back in her life, and she had gotten a drink with Dinah Madani and Trish Walker on occasion, but Karen felt hollow. Empty. Like a shell of herself. She was touch-starved and burned-out. She knew she was working herself to death, and she couldn’t think of anything that would help more than getting a companion that would be there for her, no matter what. At the very least, it would force her to go home at a decent hour. It was her Christmas present to herself. She wasn’t planning on getting any from anyone else. She certainly hadn’t bought any.

She had heard good things about the shelter a few blocks from her apartment, and that was where she headed, huddling down in her coat against the winter chill. It was only a couple of weeks till Christmas, and the weather had taken a turn for the bone-chilling. Karen shivered and walked faster. The nights were getting darker, sooner, and she hated being out after dark these days. Too many ghosts in the shadows.

The shelter was brightly lit, and it was filled with the sound of yelping dogs. Karen smelled the disinfectant they must spray down to keep things clean, and her heart ached for the pups that had landed here. Stray, abandoned, old, sick, they were all in need of a home, and she was going to have to choose one. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea. She was already overwhelmed, and she was barely in the door.

“Can I help you?” a redheaded teenage girl in a Santa hat said, giving her a half-genuine smile. Karen knew she was verging on closing time. She knew this girl probably wanted to go home. She couldn’t blame her for that. She just had to come. She had to do this now. Before she shattered into too many pieces to ever be put back together.

“I’d like to adopt a dog.”

The girl pushed a clipboard towards Karen. “Fill this out, and then you can meet the dogs. Leave the name blank until you choose.” She sounded bored.

“That’s it?” Karen had expected more of a process. Anyone could walk in and adopt a dog. No wonder there were so many here.

“That’s it. Let me know when you’re done and I’ll take you back to see the dogs. I’m Emily.”

The paperwork didn’t take long. It was mostly information about Karen and her lifestyle. She tried to be honest, but she wondered who would even read it. She felt more unsure than ever after she had finished, but she let Emily take her in the back to meet the dogs anyway. What made her think she was ready for a dog? She could hardly take care of herself.

Before she could spiral too far down that line of thought and talk herself out of the whole thing, her eyes were drawn to the figure of a man, crouching down to pet a dog’s head. The slope of his shoulders, the shape of his nose, every single detail about him hit her all at once, like a tidal wave.

“Fr-Pete?” she said, catching herself just in time. His false name felt strange in her mouth. Her voice shook a little. He stiffened instantly and turned to face her, relaxing as soon as he saw who it was.

“Karen?” He looked as startled to see her as she felt to see him. “What are you doing here?”

“Getting a dog. What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, volunteer here sometimes. It helps.” Karen thought she understood. She knew dogs helped people process and deal with their trauma. It was why she was there, after all. If it could help her, why couldn’t it help Frank too? “They don’t like me to be at the counter, but I walk the dogs, feed ‘em, you know?” He scratched the back of his neck like he did when he was nervous.

Emily was looking between them curiously, a sly smile stealing onto her face. “You guys know each other?”

“Yeah. Old friends,” Frank said, coughing. “Emily, why don’t you go see if anyone else needs your help?” he said, growling a little.

Emily rolled her eyes and flounced off, clearly unaware of who exactly she was teasing. It didn’t matter. He was here. He was safe. He was alive. He was…

Staring at her like he wasn’t sure she was real. His brown eyes saw right through her, down to the real reason she had come. The real reason she wanted a dog. Frank had always been able to see her more clearly than anyone else. This was no different.

“You want a dog?” he said, question echoing Foggy’s from earlier.

“Yes,” she said, crossing her arms defensively. “Why does everyone think that’s so strange?”

“I don’t.” He shrugged. “Just thought you might be a cat person.”

Karen’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?”

Frank smiled at the outraged look on her face, holding up his hands in surrender. “Look, obviously I was wrong.”

“Uh, yeah. You were.”

“So, let me help you find a dog.” He was watching her, almost wary, like if he did this wrong, she’d disappear. Even though she had never been the one to disappear. Not this time. Not the first time, either. He was the one who did the disappearing. Always.

“Fine.”

He led her along the rows of cages, past dogs that were shrinking back against the wall, dogs that were jumping at them and yipping, dogs that were curled up into tight balls to hide against the world. So many pairs of eyes staring sadly at them.

“How about this one?” he said, and Karen looked down into another pair of brown eyes that stabbed through her like a knife. The dog was smaller than she had imagined, but after seeing it, she couldn’t imagine wanting a different one. The [blonde dog](https://www.dogster.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Toby_600_1.jpg) sat up, wagging its tail when it noticed the standing by the door of her cage. “Daisy’s been here a while. She’s a sweet girl. Pretty mellow. Just wants to be on the couch, cuddling.”

If she was honest with herself, that’s all Karen wanted, either. “Can I pet her?” She wasn’t sure why her voice came out in a whisper. This moment felt sacred, somehow. Special.

“Sure.” Frank smiled fondly down at the dog as he unlocked the door, and Karen stepped inside. It felt like fate. This was meant to be her dog. She just knew it.

“You’re coming home with me, pretty girl,” she whispered, crouching down to let Daisy sniff her and come closer. A pink tongue shot out and licked her knuckles. Daisy put her paws on her knees to put her face right up against hers, and Karen was a goner. “Why hasn’t she been adopted yet? She’s beautiful.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Daisy nudged his hand, staring up at him with another wag of her tail. “Just waiting for the right person to come along. You want her, she’s yours.”

“I want her.” She couldn’t leave her there, in that sterile cage, for one more second. Not when she could do something about it. Not when this little dog was shivering and shaking against her, tail wagging so hard she could hardly stand up.

“You got a leash or anything?” Frank’s gravelly voice brought her back down to earth with a thud.

“Oh.” Karen hadn’t thought of that. How had she been so sure she wanted a dog, and then done nothing to prepare? That wasn’t like her. She had really been in a fog lately.

“Don’t worry about it. My van’s outside. We can go get some stuff.”

“Really? I don’t want to mess up your night.”

Frank huffed out a laugh. “Don’t have much of a social life, these days. It’s no trouble.” He cleared his throat. “Give us a chance to catch up.”

Damn. Karen had hoped he hadn’t heard what had happened with the fake Daredevil and the attacks in her general vicinity. From the look in his eyes, she was out of luck. She should have known.

Frank walked her through the rest of the adoption process. It didn’t take long, but Emily watched them the whole time, jumping in when she thought Frank had forgotten something with a smirk. He grumbled, but it was clear from the warmth in his eyes that he didn’t really mind. He was gentler now. Softer. Not so angry. Not so lost. Something had changed. Maybe the dogs really did help.

“How’ve you been?” she asked, once he had loaded Daisy into the back of the van and opened the passenger door for Karen.

He raised his eyebrows, a little of that familiar fire back in his eyes. “Better than you, from the sound of it.” He started the van with a growl of the engine, gaze flashing over to her, like he was checking her for injuries. Her scrapes and bruises were long gone, but she felt like he could still see them, lingering under her skin. Just under the surface, where she had never been able to hide anything from him. “What were you thinking, Karen?”

Karen sat back with a sigh. “You know what, Frank?” He grunted in response. “For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking. I was just _doing_. I was just _surviving_. So don’t you dare throw that back at me. It’s not like you were there. You don’t know anything about it.”

It came out much harsher than she meant. She knew he cared about her. She knew he worried about her. She knew he would have been there if he could. She was just so _tired_. Tired of explaining. Tired of justifying herself. Tired of telling all her secrets to everyone in her life. Tired.

“I know.” Guilt started eating at her as soon as she heard it there, heavy in his voice. “I wasn’t here. I should have been.”  
“No, Frank. That’s not what I meant.” It wasn’t. Not really. He didn’t need to throw himself into the line of fire for her again. “I was reckless. I’ll be the first to admit that. Father Lantom died because of me. That’s my fault. I have to live with that.”

“Karen,” he said gently. “That was that asshole’s fault. That guy dressed up as Red. You couldn’t have stopped it.”

“He was after _me_ , Frank. It should have been me.” She realized she was crying. She was also tired of crying. She thought she had dealt with all of this at the funeral. And after, with Foggy and Matt. But here she was, crying in Frank’s van. He did something to her. Made her vulnerable. Broke down the walls she had worked so hard to build up. “It should have been me.” Her voice was a ragged whisper, shaking with every sob. She covered her face. She didn’t want him to see her like this.

“Don’t you say that,” Frank said, an edge of panic in his voice. “Don’t you ever say that.”

He pulled the van over and threw it into park. He turned to her, pulled her hands away from her face, and looked at her. Really looked at her. If she thought he had seen through her before, that was nothing compared to the way he was looking at her now. His hands were warm, rough with calluses. She couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of his skin on hers.

“Frank,” she whispered. She didn’t know what she wanted to say. She was just so relieved to see him, to be here with him, it was like all the self-control she had managed to conjure up had just dissolved. Frank was dangerous for her. Just not in the way everyone thought.

“Karen, I should have been here. I should have. I will be. I won’t leave again.” He was mumbling now, words tripping over themselves in his haste to say them. “He should have never gotten near you. That’s on me. I left town, didn’t tell you. Didn’t give you a way to contact me. That’s on me.”

“No, Frank.” This was one thing she knew. “I went after Fisk. I knew the risks.”  
He shook his head. His hands were shaking, still holding hers. “I’m not leaving again. Not without telling you. When I heard, when I saw the news…” He trailed off, like he couldn’t even say the words. “Lieberman had to show me you were okay before I believed it. I was ready. I swear it. I was coming for you.”

Karen tugged a hand out of his and ran her fingers through her hair. She didn’t know what to say. For someone who was so good with words, it was rare that she was speechless. She knew Frank would have been there if he could. He had taken a bullet for her before. She never doubted what he would do for her.

Before she could find the words, Daisy had poked her head out of the backseat and licked along Karen’s jaw. A few last tears trailed down her cheeks, but she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Come on,” Frank said, looking away with a gentle smile. “Let’s get this girl set up.”

Karen nodded, stroking Daisy’s soft head. She was helping already.

They made it to the pet store and Karen followed Frank inside. She hadn’t had a dog since she was a kid. She couldn’t remember the first thing she needed.

Frank guided her through the aisles, like he knew how lost she felt. If anyone could understand, it was Frank. He pulled down a large bag of food, shoulders moving under the fabric of his coat as he tossed it into the cart.

“This is the food she’s been eating at the shelter. If you want to switch it, do it slowly.” Karen nodded, but she could hardly focus on his words. She felt overstimulated, overexposed, like a raw nerve under these fluorescent lights. The feeling of Daisy’s temporary leash in her hands was the only thing tethering her to the ground. “What kind of bed do you want?”

Karen stared at the options and pointed at one. It was gray, lined with fleece. It looked warm. Cozy. Daisy deserved that. Frank pulled it down. She pointed at a leash and collar, too, purple ones, and Frank put them in the cart.

“What kind of toys does she like?” she heard herself say, like she was speaking from far away. She was out of her body. She was somewhere else. She needed to be here, but she didn’t know how to get back. Frank was watching her carefully, but didn’t say anything. He pulled down a rope toy, and some squeaky animals. Karen found a set of metal bowls and placed them on top.

“Want anything else?”

Karen shook her head and they went to check out. Daisy sat patiently while they paid for her things, and followed them to the van, jumping right in as soon as the door opened.

“Karen,” Frank said, when they were back on the road. “Are you okay?”

Karen swallowed. She was done with crying. She was empty. Hollow. She had no more tears. “Yeah. I’m okay, Frank. Thank you. For everything.”

He drove her back to her building in silence, but insisted on carrying the bags upstairs for her. Something hung in the air as they unpacked Daisy’s things. Karen felt a little more like herself, now that she was home, but there was fear clawing its way out of her chest the more she thought about what she had just done.

She fumbled with the lights she had hung in the windows. They lit up and made the room glow. She left the other lights off. She liked it this way. Dim. Quiet. Frank looked younger. Softer. Maybe like he had before everything had happened. She didn’t know. It didn’t matter.

He was here. He was sitting stiffly on her couch, hands on his knees.

“Beer?” she said, trying to regain some of her composure. They had both seen each other at their worst, but something about him always knocked her off-balance. He nodded, and she pulled two bottles out of the fridge.

She handed one to him and sank down on the couch beside him.

“So, you back with Murdock, now he’s back from the dead?”

Karen’s eyebrows shot up. “Excuse me?” The question focused her. She didn’t know what he knew or how he knew it, but this was something she could do. Something she could explain. Something she _wanted_ to explain.

“I know he’s back. Figured, maybe…” he trailed off, like he wasn’t sure what else needed to be said. Took a long swig of beer, eyes on the floor. Karen was reminded of sitting across from him in that diner, all those months ago. He hadn’t looked away then. It was different now.

“I’m working for him and Foggy again,” Karen said carefully. “That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Karen’s eyebrows rose higher and Frank smiled a little. “Okay. I get it.”

Daisy jumped up next to her and curled into a warm little ball. Karen trailed her fingers over the dog’s soft fur. It slid against her skin and soothed some of the rough edges still healing on her heart.

“Why now?” Frank asked, watching them.

“What?”

“Why get a dog now?” From the look on his face, Karen had a feeling he knew. She would tell him anyway. There was no point trying to hide it from him. He knew her too well. He didn’t know everything, but he knew everything that mattered. This was no different.

“I just didn’t want to feel alone anymore,” she said quietly. “I’m tired of being afraid. I’m tired of not being able to sleep.”

Frank nodded. “I get it.” He smiled at Daisy. “She’s a good one for helping the nightmares go away.”

“I bet she is.” Karen wondered how he knew that. Wondered where he was living, these days. Did he sleep at the shelter? Stay with the dogs all night? It didn’t seem impossible. She didn’t need to know.

Frank set his beer down and turned to face Karen fully. “You’re not alone, Karen. I need you to know that.”

She took a shaky breath and sipped her beer. “I know, Frank. Neither are you.” She tried to nudge his knee with hers to lighten the mood, or make her point, or something, but Frank caught it in his hand. His fingers traced her kneecap and Karen had to fight to breathe. He had never touched her this way. She had never so much as hoped for it. Never imagined it was possible. His hand, checking her for injuries, sure. His forehead, resting against hers in the middle of a potential firefight, definitely. But not this. Never this.

“Karen,” he said, voice rumbling through his body and into hers. The heater whistled quietly as it radiated heat into the room. It was too hot. She shivered anyway.

“Frank?” She could hardly speak. Her voice was caught in her throat.

His other hand came up to cup her face, his thumb brushing over her cheekbone. He didn’t do anything else, for a long moment. He just studied her, like he was trying to memorize her face, like he still wasn’t sure if this was real.

“I’m glad you came in today.”

“Me too.”

“I missed you.” Karen’s heart seized with something that felt an awful lot like hope. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? Was he saying what she was feeling? “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. I should have been here. I won’t leave you again. Not unless you send me away.”

His lips found their way to her forehead, and Karen leaned into the touch. His mouth was warm, and he trailed kisses down to her cheek, her ear, her eyelids. She was trembling when she opened her eyes to find him staring at her again. His lips parted and Karen pushed forward to close the gap. She needed this. She suspected he did, too.

He wrapped his arms around her, as his tongue pushed into her mouth. Frank’s teeth sank into her bottom lip and Karen’s hands wound around his neck. She ended up in his lap, and it wasn’t close enough. Mewling cries fell from her lips and she clawed at his shirt, trying to pull it up.

“Bedroom?” he grunted, between kisses. Karen nodded and stood, taking his hands to lead him. Daisy watched them go, lifting her head curiously. She didn’t follow. Smart dog.

Frank was still kissing her as he walked her backwards, setting her on fire from the inside out. Every fear, every hesitation, every anxiety that had kept her from sleeping for the last few weeks, was burned out of her, leaving nothing but a hungry desire. She needed Frank. She had missed him too. She needed this. There was nothing else that would anchor her back to earth for good. Frank was the only one who could save her this time. Just like he always did.

“Frank,” she moaned, dragging his shirt up his torso. He helped her get it off, and she trailed her fingers over his bare skin.

“Gonna have to stop doing that,” he murmured, taking both her hands in one of his. “I want to see you.”

She shivered again, and let him tug at her sweater until it came off over her head. His hands found the clasp at the back of her bra, and he bit down on the sensitive skin of her neck. She arched into him and felt his smile against her skin. He released the clasp and she gasped at the sensation of his skin against hers. Her fingernails dug into his back and he hissed into her mouth.

“Not enough,” he mumbled. He unzipped her skirt and pulled it down with her tights. She kicked off her heels and Frank stood over her, breathing hard. “Jesus, you’re beautiful.”

He found her mouth again with renewed fury, kissing her so hard she saw stars. His hands were everywhere, leaving goosebumps wherever he touched her. She fumbled with his belt and he toed out of his boots, leaving them in a pile with his pants at the end of the bed.

It was messy, unsteady. Just like them. Frank was shaking. So was she. He needed this as much as she did. They were alive. They were together. This was right.

“Please, Frank,” she whimpered. She could see him hesitating, a shade of fear in his eyes. This was a huge step. There was no coming back from this. For either of them.

But she needed him. He needed her. They were supposed to be here. They were supposed to be together. She knew that in her soul. She couldn’t question it now. She wrapped her legs around him and he gritted out a strangled cry.

“Is this okay?” she asked, stilling against him. If it wasn’t, if this wasn’t what he wanted, she would be fine. She would. She would find a way. If she could have him in her life, she would find a way.

“Yes,” he grunted. “Yes. Please. Karen.”

Karen let out the breath she had been holding. Reaching between them, she guided Frank to her entrance and he slid inside, eyes clenched shut. When they opened again, Karen sank into him, melting under his touch. She was liquid. She was fire. She was air.

She was here, with Frank. He was here, with her. He didn’t move. She could feel his heart pounding against hers. She shifted her hips and he groaned. His hips rocked and he pressed deeper inside her. Karen had never felt so full, so complete. She thought she might cry again. Frank’s arms were around her and he pulled her against his chest, burying his face in her neck. He was murmuring her name like a prayer. He was the answer to hers.

He pulled her tighter to him, turning them so that she was on top of him, straddling him. She circled her hips and watched his eyes fall shut again. Her clit ground against his pubic bone every time she pressed into him and Karen felt an orgasm building. She rode him harder, and Frank’s hands gripped her hips so hard she was sure they would bruise. She didn’t care. The bite of the pain focused her, helped her be here, in this moment.

Her vision blurred as her pace increased, and she collapsed into her climax with a cry of Frank’s name. She felt his hips snap up to meet hers as he caught her lips in a desperate kiss, following her over the edge with one last punishing thrust. She was going to be sore in the morning. It didn’t matter. She wanted to keep this feeling as long as she could.

She stayed there, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

“I missed you,” she mumbled against his chest, pressing a kiss to his skin between each word. “I needed you.” It was too late to pretend otherwise.

“I know. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Karen rolled off him and curled into his side. “Good.”

She heard nails clicking on the wood floor and looked up to see Daisy looking curiously into the room. Frank rolled over and sat up to clean himself up a little, leaning over to kiss her forehead once more before he left.

By the time he came back, Karen was curled up, fast asleep, with Daisy sleeping at her feet. He had always loved Daisy, since the day he met her. She was a sweet girl, who deserved the best owner. And now she had her. Karen was the best. She always had been. He didn’t deserve her. It wasn’t up to him. He was too far gone now to do anything but hold on as hard as he could. He smiled gently down at his girls and climbed back into bed, pulling Karen against his chest, the Christmas lights on the street glowing silently against the dark streets. He had stayed away, hoping that would help. It hadn’t. He wasn’t leaving now. He wasn’t leaving again.

It wouldn’t be pretty. It wouldn’t be perfect. But it would be his. It would be hers. It would be theirs. That was more than enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this fluffy Christmas fic and I hope you have a great holiday, no matter what you celebrate. Kudos and comments are always appreciated! <3


End file.
